If You Were To Buy A [bmw]

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.

I Dish The Dirt Out And I Can Take It. But Why Should My Mother And Children Have To Take It?

A Turbo: Exhaust Gasses Go Into The Turbocharger And Spin It, Witchcraft Happens And You Go Faster.

The Problem Is That Television Executives Have Got It Into Their Heads That If One Presenter On A Show Is A Blonde-haired, Blue-eyed Heterosexual Boy, The Other Must Be A Black Muslim Lesbian.

When You've Finished Using A Car, Put The F***ing Seat Back, So Humans Can Use It Afterwards.