If You Want To Make God Laugh,

The Food Here Is Terrible, And The Portions Are Too Small.

I've Never Dated A Fictional Character Before. The Closest I Ever Came Was An Italian.

I've Never Been Satisfied Or Even Pleased With A Film That I've Done. I Make Them, I'm Finished, I've Never Looked At One After. I Don't Like Them Because There's A Big Gap Between What You Conceive In Your Mind When You're Writing And You Don't Have To Meet The Test Of Reality. You're Home, You Write And It's Funny And Beautiful And Romantic And Dramatic, And Then You Have To Show Up On A Cold Morning, And You Don't Have Enough Of This And This Goes Wrong And You Make The Wrong Choice On Something And You Screwed Up And You Can't Go Back.

All The Crap They Tell You About... Getting Joy And Having A Kind Of Wisdom In Your Golden Years - It's All Tripe.

When I Was Young, I Wanted To Be A Dramatic Writer, A Writer Of Tragedy. Nothing Would've Pleased Me More Than If I Could Have Written Like Eugene O'neil Or Tennessee Williams.