I Think People Just Love To Win.

Super Excited About Things I'm Going To Do; Never Excited About Things I'm Actually Doing.

The Whole Idea Of Punk Rock Is That You're Dressing Yourself In A Crazy Leather Jacket With Safety Pins And A Mohawk. The Idea Of Being The Rebel Is A Boring Societal Idea. It's Such A Type. And That's What I Was, Without Knowing It.

You Can't Write A Children's Book That Takes More Than Five Or Six Minutes To Read, Because It Will Drive The Parents Batty. It Has To Be Compact. Nobody Thinks About The Parents When They Write These Stupid Books. I Could Write Longer Children's Books, But It Would Actually Be Bad If I Did.

The Atkins' Diet Is Where You Eat Bacon For Six Or Seven Months...and The End Result Is That You Lose Weight. Because You're Dead.

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy Do I Love Money. It Is A Character Flaw, No Doubt, One That Springs From A Panicked Childhood In Which I Always Felt As If Our Family Was Only A Couple Missed Child Support Payments From Being Tossed Onto The Pitiless Streets Of Our Suburban New Jersey Town.