If You See Someone In Trouble, You

Why Did You Do It?" I Say. "you Want Me Dead. You Were Willing To Do It Yourself! What Changed?" He Presses His Lips Together And Doesn't Look Away, Not For A Long Time. Then He Opens His Mouth, Hesitates, And Finally Says, " I Can't Be In Anyone's Debt. Okay? The Idea That I Owed You Something Made Me Sick. I Would Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Like I Was Going To Vomit. Indebted To A Stiff? It's Ridiculous. Absolutely Ridiculous. And I Couldn't Have It.

He Gives Me A Conflicted Look And Touches His Lips To My Forehead, Right Between My Eyebrows. I Close My Eyes. I Don't Understand This, Whatever It Is. But I Don't Want To Ruin It, So I Say Nothing. He Doesn't Move; He Just Stays There With His Mouth Pressed To My Skin, And I Stay There With My Hands On His Waist, For A Long Time.

The Goal Of My Life Isn't Just... To Be Happy. 'wouldn't It Be Easier If It Was, Though?

No Factions? A World In Which No One Knows Who They Are Or Where They Fit? I Can't Even Fathom It. I Imagine Only Chaos And Isolation.

I Wipe My Face With My Sleeve, Laughing So Hard My Stomach Hurts. If My Entire Life Is Like This, Loud Laughter And Bold Action And The Kind Of Exhaustion You Feel After A Hard But Satisfying Day, I Will Be Content.