If You Say Three Things, You Don't

We Ought To Be Talking About Our Democracy Being Under Assault Right Now And What We're Going To Do About It And Not What Somebody Said In July About James Comey. That's A Distraction, That's Not What's Going On.

You Know, Back In 2000 A Republican Friend Of Mine Warned Me That If I Voted For Al Gore And He Won, The Stock Market Would Tank, We'd Lose Millions Of Jobs, And Our Military Would Be Totally Overstretched. You Know What: I Did Vote For Al Gore, He Did Win, And I'll Be Damned If All Those Things Didn't Come True.

You Know There's Nothing A Hill Democrat Would Rather Do Than Criticize Another Democrat. It Is Their Favorite Activity. Then They Can Read About How Honorable They Are In An Op-ed Piece, How Bipartisan.

I Was Against Gay Marriage Until I Realized I Didn't Have To Get One.

Winning An Argument With Your Wife Is Like Winning The War With Iraq. Once You Win, You're In Even More Trouble.