If You Keep Yourself Alive And Current,

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

Larry David Finds A Way To Make Jokes About The Holocaust. It Would Never Have Occurred To Me. And It Was Funny.

You Do Live Longer With Bran, But You Spend The Last Fifteen Years On The Toilet.

Comedy Is A Reflection. We Create Nothing. We Set No Styles, No Standards. We're Reflections. It's A Distorted Mirror In The Fun House. We Watch Society. As Society Behaves, Then We Have The Ability To Make Fun Of It.

I'm Only... I'm Only Unhappy When The Reviews Are Bad, But Give Me A Good Review And I'm A... I'm Just Screaming All Over The Place With Joy.