If You Have Love, Even Plain Cold

My Grandmother's Feet Had Been Bound When She Was Two Years Old. Her Mother...first Wound A Piece Of White Cloth About Twenty Feet Long Round Her Feet, Bending All The Toes Except The Big Toe Inward And Under The Sole. Then She Placed A Large Stone On Top To Crush The Arch.

As A Child, My Idea Of The West Was That It Was A Miasma Of Poverty And Misery, Like That Of The Homeless 'little Match Girl'in The Hans Christian Andersen Story. When I Was In The Boarding Nursery And Did Not Want To Finish My Food, The Teacher Would Say:'think Of All The Starving Children In The Capitalist World!

I Was Not Allowed To Take Notes But My Friend And I Memorised Those Two And A Half Pages. Most People Talked To Me Because Of The Warning. They Knew This Book Was Not Going To Be The Official Line.

I No Longer Have The Terrible Nightmares That I Used To Have. Mao Had Just Died In 1976, And China Began To Open Up. For The First Time Scholarships To Go To The West To Study Were Awarded On Academic Merit.

In Spring 1989...i Saw The Buildup Of Demonstrations From Chengdu To Tiananmen Square. It Struck Me That Fear Had Been Forgotten To Such An Extent That Few Of The Millions Of Demonstrators Perceived Danger. Most Seemed To Be Taken By Surprise When The Army Opened Fire.