If Someone Has Ebola At A Cocktail

This Whole Sort Of 'war On Women' Sort Of Thing, I'm Scratching My Head Because If There Was A War On Women, I Think They Won.

I Was Told I Got 10 Measly Minutes, But Just In Case, I Brought 13 Hours Worth Of Material.

I Hate That Mosul Is Falling, But I Also Think That For 10 Years We Have Supplied The Iraqis And They Can't Stand Up And Do Anything To Defend Their Country, And It Is All Up To Us?

Republicans Traditionally Say, 'oh, We'll Cut Domestic Spending, But We Won't Touch The Military.' The Liberals - The Ones Who Are Good - Will Say, 'oh, We'll Cut The Military, But We Won't Cut Domestic Spending.'

Nobody Ever Was Fired For 9/11. Instead Of Firing The People Who Didn't Do A Good Job, We Gave Them Medals. The Guy Who Did A Good Job, I Don't Know What Happened To Him. And What We Did Was We Decided We'd Just Collect Everybody's Information. That We'd Sort Of Scrap The Bill Of Rights.