If Kisses Were What You Were Looking

You Know," I Said, Holding My Ground. "i Gotta Tell You. The Goatee Thing? Yeah, Way Over. And You Know A Little Jewelry Really Does Go A Long Way. Just Something You Might Want To Consider. I'm Actually Glad You Stopped By, Because I Have A Couple Things I've Been Meaning To Say To You. Number One, About Your Wife? Yeah, She's A Skank. And Number Two, You Know That Whole Thing Where You Killed Jesse And Then Buried His Remains Out Back There? Yeah, Way Un-cool.

Always Be True To Your Friends, Just As You Are To Yourself.

But I Don't Care What Megan Fox Or Jessica Biel Say: There Are Definite Advantages To Being The Hottest Girl On The Planet. Number One Was That I Got Paid For It. A Lot.

That's Enough Of That," Jesse Said. Next Thing I Knew, He'd Scooped Me Up. Only Instead Of Carrying Me To My Bed And Setting Me Down On It All Romantically, You Know, Like Guys Do To Girls In The Movies, He Just Dumped Me Onto It, So I Bounced Around And Would Have Fallen Off If I Hadn't Grabbed The Edge Of The Mattress. "thanks," I Said, Not Quite Able To Keep All Of The Sarcasm Out Of My Voice.

The The Tabloids Are Always Going To Be A War For Popularity In The Celeb World.