If I Had Never Ventured Beyond Being

I Was On Prozac For A Long Time. It May Have Helped Me Out Of A Jam For A Little Bit, But People Stay On It Forever.

I’ve Often Said That I Wish People Could Realize All Their Dreams And Wealth And Fame, So That They Could See That It’s Not Where They’re Gonna Find Their Sense Of Completion. Like Many Of You, I Was Concerned About Going Out Into The World And Doing Something Bigger Than Myself, Until Someone Smarter Than Myself Made Me Realize That There Is Nothing Bigger Than Myself. My Soul Is Not Contained Within The Limits Of My Body, My Body Is Contained Within The Limitlessness Of My Soul.

Be Grateful. Find Something To Be Grateful For. Don't Do Too Many Things That Make You Feel Like You Deserve To Lose Because We Do Program Our Own Computers. I Believe There Is A Plus And A Minus Column And If You End Up On The Minus Column, Your Own Conscience Will Make You Lose.

I Know This Sounds Strange, But As A Kid, I Was Really Shy. Painfully Shy. The Turning Point Was Freshman Year, When I Was The Biggest Geek Alive. No One, I Mean No One, Even Talked To Me.

Comedy Started Out As My Hobby And Then It Became My Profession. It's Like Being On Call All The Time, Like Having A Built-in Beeper. You Can't Just Leave The Office And Relax Because You Never Know When You'll Think Of Something Funny.