If I Had A Dime For Everytime

On This Show, Your Voice Will Be Heard In The Form Of My Voice.

Writing And Producing The Show Is An Intellectual Process. Performing The Show Is Far More Athletic And Intuitive, Because You Don't Get To Do It Twice. It Helps If You've Done Whatever The Old Saw Is, 10,000 Hours Of It. Because I've Done 10,000 Hours Of Comedy, I Have This Database In My Mind Of What Works And What Doesn't Work.

If God Wanted Us To Accept Gays, He'd Have Made Us Compassionate

A Press That Has Validity Is A Press That Has Authority. And As Soon As There's Any Authority To What The Press Says, You Question The Authority Of The Government - It's Like The Existence Of Another Authority.

Give A Man A Fish And He'll Eat For A Day. Give A Man A Sub-prime Fish Loan And You're In Business, Buddy.