If I Can Be Cruel; I'm Not

You Can Stick A Bmw Badge On A Dead Cat - And People Would Still Buy It.

Ask Any Ferrari, Porsche Or Ray-ban Salesperson About Their Average Customer And You Will Very Likely Hear That He Is Not, As The Adverts Would Have Us Believe, A Virile Young Footballer With Shiny Hair, A Rippling Six Pack And A Trouser Pouch Like A New Punch Bag. He Is, In Fact, A Middle-aged Bloke Wearing More Chins Than He Started Life With And Carrying The Clear Evidence Of Forty Years Of Beer And Pies Slung Across His Midriff.

My Grandfather On One Side Was Trained As A Cabinetmaker But Eventually Worked As A Coachbuilder And Then Built Cars. I Inherited From Him A Love Of Cars, But With No Technical Ability Whatsoever, Sadly!

Failing My Driving Test First Time; That Was A Disappointment On A Geological Scale.

I Do Not See How Hanging Litter Louts Up By Their Heels And Beating Them With Sticks Could Be Considered A Crime.