If Any Religion Had A Chance Of

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.

The Shot Irishmen Will Now Take Their Places Beside Emmet And The Manchester Martyrs In Ireland, And Beside The Heroes Of Poland And Sérbia And Belgium In Europe; And Nothing In Heaven Or Earth Can Prevent It.

If More Than 10% Of The People Like A Painting, You Can Be Sure It's Bad.

When People Shake Their Heads Because We Are Living In A Restless Age, Ask Them How They Would Like To Life In A Stationary One, And Do Without Change

There Is At Bottom Only One Genuinely Scientific Treatment For All Diseases, And That Is To Stimulate The Phagocytes.