If A Tree Falls On Your Head

The Best Part Of Being Married Is... You Don't Have To Explain A Lot Of Things. Those Wordless Moments When You Both Know That What You Witnessed Together Is Funny, Idiotic, Or Really Sweet. Being Connected Is Pretty Miraculous.

People Often Ask Me, "what's The Difference Between Couplehood And Babyhood?" In A Word? Moisture. Everything In My Life Is Now More Moist. Between Your Spittle, Your Diapers, Your Spit-up And Drool, You Got Your Baby Food, Your Wipes, Your Formula, Your Leaky Bottles, Sweaty Baby Backs, And Numerous Other Untraceable Sources-all Creating An Ever-present Moistness In My Life, Which Heretofore Was Mainly Dry.

There Are Two Types Of People In Life - Those Who Get It And Those Who Don't.

When People Talk About Wanting To Have Children Someday, What They Really Mean Is That They Want Babies. Nobody Wants An Angry Adolescent. Nobody Wants An Obnoxious Seven-year-old Trying To Wear Out Dirty Words They Just Learned In School That Day. What They Really Want Is Cute, Adorable Babies Who Love You And Need You. The Bad Stuff Is Just The Price You Agree To Pay For Having The Good Stuff.

He Was Born Early. But He Was Born Within A Safe Range Of Premature.