If A Tree Falls On Your Head

There Was A Period Where Our Child's Birth Was Getting Really Close, And We Still Had Nothing. We Were Dangerously Close To Calling Him Untitled Baby Project.

It Was Trying To Make My Tennis Game Look Mildly Respectable, Which I Found You Don't Even Really Need To Practice If You Have A Really Good Editor. They Can Edit It And You're Like, "hey, It Looks Like I'm Playing Really Well." That Was The Fun Part, But It Was Like Going To Summer Camp.

Sometimes It Works Out Well, And Certain Household Responsibilities Fall Naturally To Those Who Like Doing Them. For Example, My Wife Likes To Pack Suitcases, I Like To Unpack Them. My Wife Likes To Buy Groceries, I Like To Put Them Away. I Do. I Like The Handling And Discovering, And The Location Assignments. Cans - Over There. Fruit - Over There. Bananas - Not So Fast. You Go Over Here. When You Learn Not To Go Bad So Quickly, Then You Can Stay With The Rest Of Your Friends.

I Remember My Wife And I Used To Get On Plane And See Everybody Else With Their Babies. They'd Be Putting Strollers And Car Seats Up Above, And We'd Think: Oh, Please Lord, Don't Make Us Go Through That

Having A Baby Dragged Me, Kicking And Screaming, From The World Of Self-absorption.