If A Tree Falls On Your Head

When I'm Writing For A Book, It's Much More Reflective Process. I Have Certain Things That May Not Translate Well To The Stage, But, When They're On The Page, People Can Really Get Into Them. My First Two Books Were Aiming To Be Funnier, But The Third Was More About Deep Exploration. Things About Being A Parent And Growing Older That I Thought Would Be Perfect For A Book.

A Friend Told Me To Listen To My Heart. Another Friend Told Me To Listen To My Gut. Maybe I Need An Autopsy, Because Right Now My Colon Is Kind Of Iffy.

The Most Challenging Part Of Being A Dad Is Trying To Postpone The Moment When They Realize You Don't Know Anything. I Love Any Sentence That Begins With Daddy...? Because It's Implied They're Looking Up To You - That You'll Have The Answer. The Truth Is, I Don't Have Any Answers.

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.

Two Or Three Times A Week, I Drive By The Houses Of Numbers 78-100 Just To Rub It In.