The Most Used Appliance In Our House

From The Minute We're Born, Boys And Girls Stare At Each Other, Trying To Figure Out If They Like What They See. Like Parade Lines, Passing Each Other For Mutual Inspection. You March, You Look. You March, You Look. If You're Interested, You Stop And Talk, And If It Doesn't Work Out, You Just Get Back In The Parade. You Keep Marching, And You Keep Looking.

When You're In @#*!#-ing Hell, Your Forehead Can Feel A Wee Bit Feverish. (by The Way, That's The Way My Wife Actually Curses. She Doesn't Use Dirty Words; She'll Literally Say "asterisk, Pound Sign, Exclamation Point, The-letter-'a'-with-a-circle-around-it, Asterisk, Asterisk, Asterisk.")

Jerry Lewis Played On The Very First Season Of Mad About You, And He Played Basically Himself, But He Was Called Some Other Name. He Said He's Never Done It; He'd Never Done A Half-hour Of [sitcom] Television. This Was 1992 Or '93. And I Said, "well How Is That?" And He Goes, "nobody Ever Asked Me." It's Like The Pretty Girl At The Dance; Everybody's Too Afraid To Ask.

A Friend Told Me To Listen To My Heart. Another Friend Told Me To Listen To My Gut. Maybe I Need An Autopsy, Because Right Now My Colon Is Kind Of Iffy.

Younger Kids, They Understand That Things Aren't So Perfect With Their Father Or With Their Mother.