If A Kid Calls His Grandma "mommy"

So, To Say Barack Obama Is Progress Is Saying That He's The First Black Person That Is Qualified To Be President. That's Not Black Progress. That's White Progress.

Relationships, Easy To Get Into, Hard To Maintain. Why Are They So Hard To Maintain? Because It’s Hard To Keep Up The Lie! ‘cause You Can’t Get Nobody Being You. You Got To Lie To Get Somebody. You Can’t Get Nobody Looking Like You Look, Acting Like You Act, Sounding Like You Sound. When You Meet Somebody For The First Time, You’re Not Meeting Them. You’re Meeting Their Representative!

When You've Been On A Ghetto Diet Your Entire Life, You're Just Happy To Get A Large Soda Instead Of A Medium.

Yeah, It's Unfair That You Can Get Judged By Something You Didn't Do, But It's Also Unfair That You Can Inherit Money That You Didn't Work For.

I Never Wanted To Churn It Out. Comedians Tend To Work All The Time. They Never Put It Down Like Musicians Who Might Make An Album Then Take Three Or Four Years Off To Recharge Their Batteries. Comedians Tend To Work Straight Through And They Get Stale Because Of That. Even When I Didn't Have A Lot Of Money I Never Ever Did It Unless I Had Something New To Say.