If A Bout Of "creepy Face" Sets

It Was Scary To Be In That World Of Politics. I Felt Uncomfortable To Be In That Discussion. The Weird Thing Is, When Darrell Hammond Or Will Ferrell Or Dana Carvey Did An Impersonation Of A President, No One Assumed It Was Personal, But Because Sarah Palin And I Are Both Women And People Think Women Are Meaner To Each Other, Everyone Assumed It Was Personal.

Politics And Prostitution Have To Be The Only Jobs Where Inexperience Is Considered A Virtue. In What Other Profession Would You Brag About Not Knowing Stuff? “i’m Not One Of Those Fancy Harvard Heart Surgeons. I’m Just An Unlicensed Plumber With A Dream And I’d Like To Cut Your Chest Open.” The Crowd Cheers.

If You Retain Nothing Else, Always Remember The Most Important Rule Of Beauty. “who Cares?”

Never Tell A Crazy Person He’s Crazy.

Feminists Do The Best Photoshop Because They Leave The Meat On Your Bones. They Don’t Change Your Size Or Your Skin Color. They Leave In Your Disgusting Knuckles, But They May Take Out Some Armpit Stubble. Not Because They’re Denying Its Existence, But Because They Understand That It’s Okay To Make A Photo Look As If You Were Caught On Your Best Day In The Best Light.