I'd Never Have Written The Big Books

There Is Something Infinitely Dingy About The Word Workshop. Pray That England Doesn't Become A Nation Of Workshopkeepers.

If You Feel Compelled To Give A New Year's Eve Party, Don't Invite People To Arrive Too Early Or They'll Go Off The Boil Before Midnight.

The Male - I Have Found - Is A Domestic Animal Which, If Treated With Firmness And Kindness, Can Be Trained To Do Most Things.

The Aristocrat, When He Wants To, Has Very Good Manners. The Scottish Upper Classes, In Particular, Have That Shell-shocked Look That Probably Comes From Banging Their Heads On Low Beams Leaping To Their Feet Whenever A Woman Comes Into The Room. Aristocrats Are Also Deeply Male Chauvinist, And ... On The Whole They Tend To Be Reactionary.

It's A Good Idea To Wait A Few Months Before Joining Anything When You Arrive At A Village. A Bookseller Friend Who Retired To Nearby Oxfordshire, And Was Worried He Might Be Bored, Got Himself On To Every Village Committee In The First Six Months, And Spent The Next Ten Years Extricating Himself.