I'd Like To Thank God For Making

The Best Way To Avoid Criticism Is Never Do Anything Ever. Or, Do What You Love, Have A Great Life & Let Others Spend Their Time Criticising.

For Every Wacky Postcard, There's A Million People Waiting To Buy It, And For Every $10 Million Of Those Things, There's One Rembrandt. Purposely, I Think I Want To Aim At Doing Something That A Lot Of People Won't Like. I'm Just Worried That It Looks Like I've Compared My Work With Rembrandt. "gervais Says He's Better Than Rembrandt!".

People Confuse The Subject Of The Joke With The Target Of The Joke, And They're Very Rarely The Same.

I Don't Do Anything For The Money.

Someone Trying To Be Funny Probably Isn't As Funny As Someone Who Doesn't Want To Be Funny But Is And Can't Help It. Someone Being Serious Or Angry Might Be Funny. If You Get Angry, The First Thing I Want To Do Is Laugh Because I Don't Know Why You're Getting That Angry. Pathos Makes Me Laugh, Funerals Make Me Laugh.