I Would Be So Scared If I

If I Could Read A Book, I'd Definitely Read One Of Yours.

If I Was A President I Want To Put An End To Only Large Financial Contributors, Lobbyists, Inside-the-beltway Fat Cats, And Corporate Bigwigs Getting To Sleep In The Lincoln Bedroom. I Will Keep That Room Open Only For People For Whom It Is Too Late To Drive After Attending One Of My Secret-underground-bunker-after-hours Parties.

If You Have A Beautiful Face You Don’t Need Fake Boobs To Get Anyone’s Attention

You Need To Look Like A Lady At The Oscars. Otherwise, Joan Rivers Will Tear You Apart. Then Again, You Aren't Really Anyone Till Joan Rivers Tears You Apart.

My Kitchen Looks Like The One From My Childhood - Very Homey, With A Little Bit Of Alice In Wonderland!