I Wondered A Little Why God Was

I Couldn't Get That Same Feeling During The Day, With My Hands In Dirty Dish Water And The Hard Sun Showing Up The Dirtiness On The Roof Tops. And After A Time, Even At Night, The Feeling Of God Didn't Last.

I Wondered A Little Why God Was Such A Useless Thing. It Seemed A Waste Of Time To Have Him. After That He Became Less And Less, Until He Was... Nothingness.

For Eight Years I Was An Inmate In A State Asylum For The Insane. During Those Years I Passed Through Such Unbearable Terror That I Deteriorated Into A Wild, Frightened Creature Intent Only On Survival. And I Survived. I Was Raped By Orderlies, Gnawed On By Rats And Poisoned By Tainted Food. I Was Chained In Padded Cells, Strapped Into Strait-jackets And Half-drowned In Ice Baths. And I Survived. The Asylum Itself Was A Steel Trap, And I Was Not Released From Its Jaws Alive And Victorious. I Crawled Out Mutilated, Whimpering And Terribly Alone. But I Did Survive.

I Have Learned That To Have A Good Friend Is The Purest Of All God's Gifts, For It Is A Love That Has No Exchange Of Payment.

I Miss The Comfort In Being Sad.