I Wish People Would Stop Talking About

In Order To Fully Realize How Bad A Popular Play Can Be, It Is Necessary To See It Twice.

Alcohol Is A Very Necessary Article. It Enables Parliament To Do Things At Eleven At Night That No Sane Person Would Do At Eleven In The Morning.

I Am Enclosing Two Tickets To The First Night Of My New Play; Bring A Friend... If You Have One.

Revolutions Have Never Lightened The Burden Of Tyranny; They Have Only Shifted It To Another Shoulder.

Man Is The Only Animal Which Esteems Itself Rich In Proportion To The Number And Voracity Of Its Parasites.