I Went To A Shrink Once, But

I'm Sort Of A Walter Mitty. I Got Fewer Brain Cells Than Most People, So When I Got Friendly With Cowboys, I Started Rodeoing. When I Was Calf-roping, There Was Something About The Dirt That Made Me Feel Clean.

The Most Talented People Are Always The Nicest.

I'm Here Instead Of Having Shoulder Surgery. But I'm Not Sure Which Is More Painful.

My Kid Was A Great Baseball Player. I Thought I Had It Made. Front-row Seats At Yankee Stadium. Then He Turned Sixteen And Wanted To Be A Rapper.

Unless I Love Something Or Hate It, I Don't Want To Deal With It.