I Was Too Old For A Paper

Encourage Independence In Your Children By Regularly Losing Them In The Supermarket.

Enter My First Neighbor - A Woman Who Spoke In Complete, Coherent Sentences, Who Ate With A Knife And Fork And Who Only Cried At Weddings. I Couldn't Help Myself. In A Dramatic Gesture, I Bolted The Door And Threw My Body Across It To Prevent Her Exit. She Understood.

Let Me Put It This Way. According To My Girth, I Should Be A Ninety-foot Redwood.

I Think It's Time We Women Stopped Carrying Supplies For The Entire Family. If Children Don't Have Room To Carry Their Own Toys, If Men Don't Have Pockets In Their Pants, Tougho.

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died.