I Was In A Military Family, So

I Just Broke Up With My Boyfriend, So I'm Officially Single. But One Thing I Find Unbelievably Annoying Is All These Guys In My Life Who Want To Save Me.

Jon Stewart Hires People That He Thinks Are Funny. That's It. That's The Only Requirement.

I Remember Reading These Articles When I Was Younger, And I Just Felt Like, Well, In Order To Look Like That, You Have To Have Some Secret, Magical Unicorn Blood That Makes Carbs Disappear As They Go Into Your Body. I Prefer The Truth.

Everyone's So Timid And Afraid To Insult Anybody, But In The End, It's Like We're All Trying To Please Everyone. In The End, We Please No One.

If You Think Something's Funny, Go With That. Most Comedians Pull Jokes From A Place Of Honesty.