I Was Ill, And Everyone Could See

I Want To Be Remembered For My Football And The Pleasure I Gave People.

I Used To Go Missing A Lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.

People Say You Have To Hit Rock Bottom, And, I Can Tell You, Almost Dying Is As Rock Bottom As It Gets.

My One Big Regret Is That I Didn’t Play On For 10 More Years.

Me And A Mate Picked Up Two Darling Birds And They Took Us Back To Their Flat. I Went Into The Bedroom With My Bird And She Started Getting Undressed. I Was That Drunk I Was Standing There Wondering How To Get Undressed Without Letting Go Of The Award. I Went To Sit On The Bed, Missed It By Four Feet And Ended Up Lying On The Floor. I Remember The Bird Looking Down At Me, And Saying, ‘some Player Of The Year.’ Then I Fell Asleep. I Woke Up Still Clutching My Award And Staggered Out Of The Flat. I Hadn’t A Bloody Clue Where I Was.