I Was Going To Go To Church,

I Got Out Of The Tub And Had To Squelch A Scream When I Saw My Reflection In The Vanity Mirror. My Hair Looked Like It Had Taken 2000 Volts And Been Spray Starched

It's Not The Pizza, Darlin', Its My Masculine Presence." Joe Morelli

Cracker Jacks Don't Count As Junk Food Because They're Corn And Peanuts, Which We Know To Be High In Nutrition. And They Have A Prize Inside.

Well, Sure, But I Don't Bring God Into It. I Think Shower Massage Might Have Been Invented By The Devil. God Invented The Missionary Position.

I Had An Alarm, I Had Nerve Gas, I Had A Yogurt. What More Could Anyone Want?