I Was Going Out For Absolutely Everything

I Like Playing Really Super-intense, Live-in-the-moment Characters. It Asks Me To Not Phone It In. It's Impossible To Phone It In. Every American Boy Has Spent His Childhood Pretending To Get Shot.

I Don't Know How This Company Got The Name National Shakespeare Company, Because It Was Literally Like Retards Employing Retards.

I Just Want To Do Cool Stuff.

I Get All Of My Comedy From Cnn.

I'm A Complete Egomaniac. It Makes Me Feel Terrible To Say [being Interviewed] Is Hard. It's Taxing In A Way. Just 'cause It's A Lot Of Mental Energy Just To Keep Focused. I Actually Think It's Harder For Journalists.