I Was Brought Up As A Catholic.

Honestly Some Folk Will Take Offence At Anything, I Met A Bloke With No Legs This Morning While At The Bus Stop, All I Asked Was "how Are You Getting On?"

If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight, Don't Eat Anything Out Of A Bucket.

If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be No More Folksingers.

People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Arse To Search The Entire Room For The Tv Remote Because They Refuse To Walk To The Tv And Change The Channel Manually.

I Have Been Made Redundant Before And It Is A Terrible Blow; Redundant Is A Rotten Word Because It Makes You Think You Are Useless.