Don't Die Until You're Dead.

Marriage Is A Wonderful Invention: Then Again, So Is A Bicycle Repair Kit.

Scotland Has The Only Football Team In The World That Does A Lap Of Disgrace.

I Once Travelled To Adelaide On Emu Airways. I Was 5,000 Ft Up In The Air When Someone Pointed Out To Me That Emus Can't Fly

Whenever I Wear Something Expensive It Looks Stolen.

When People Say "it's Always The Last Place You Look". Of Course It Is. Why Would You Keep Looking After You've Found It?