I Was Born To Be Married. I

Abba Was A Direct Influence On Me.

As A Kid, I Was Always Mad - Just Noticing The Women At Thanksgiving, Running Around The Kitchen, While The Men Were Watching Football. For One, I Don't Want To Cook, And For Two, I Hate Football. I Was Stuck In The Middle.

I Want To Make The Ikea Of Clothes For Fat Girls And Boys. Cheap, Affordable, Basic - But Ethically Made. Basics, You Know? Like Spanx - I'm Still Confused As To Why Retailers Haven't Ripped Them Off Yet And Done It Well. It's Because They Don't Understand The Basics Behind It. I Love Spanx. I'm Wearing 'em Right Now!

I Was Overcome By The Holy Ghost One Time, But In A Baptist Way. I Was Six Or Seven, And I Was Saved. I Just Cried And Cried. It Was Joy!

Here Is My Prescription To Heal All Wounds. Watch The Film Funny Girl At Least Five Times, Eat At Least 45 Chocolate Bars, And Hang Out With All Those Friends You Blew Off To Hang Out With Your Ex. I Truly Believe That, Through A Combination Of Nutella, Old Pals And Barbra Streisand, We Can Achieve Happiness And, Very Probably, World Peace.