I Was Born Serious And I Have

I Never Weep Over Lost Money, For I Figure I'd Rather Go To The Poorhouse Once Than Go There Every Day.

By The Time We Hit Fifty, We Have Learned Our Hardest Lessons. We Have Found Out That Only A Few Things Are Really Important. We Have Learned To Take Life Seriously, But Never Ourselves.

No Vice Is So Bad As Advice.

If There's One Thing I Know, It's Men. I Ought To. It's Been My Life's Work.

I'm Too Homely For A Prima Donna And Too Ugly For A Soubrette.