I Wanted To Be The Next Dana

A New Study Found That Women Think Men Holding A Guitar Are More Attractive, Even If They Are Not Playing It. In A Related Story, Guys With An Accordion Will Die Alone.

A New Poll Also Shows That A Majority Of People In Colorado Think Hillary Clinton Is Not Trustworthy. Although, That's Not Saying Much Coming From The Most Paranoid State In America. 'hillary Clinton? She's A Cop?'

A New Survey Found That 12 Percent Of Parents Punish Their Kids By Banning Social Networking Sites. The Other 88 Percent Punish Their Kids By Joining Social Networking Sites.

That's Right, Mitt Romney Took On Evander Holyfield In A Boxing Match For Charity, And It Was A Pretty One-sided Fight. But It Was Still Not The Worst Boxing Match We've Seen This Month. This Weekend Vladimir Putin Played In An Exhibition Hockey Game With Some Former Nhl Players And Scored Eight Goals. Even Evander Holyfield And Mitt Romney Said, 'that Looks Fake.'

It's Being Reported That Google Spent Over $5 Million On Lobbying Just During The First Quarter Of This Year. You'd Think Google Wouldn't Really Need To Lobby Politicians. All They Have To Say Is, 'we Have Your Search History. Do What We Tell You.'