I Want To Perform An Unnatural Act.

Part Of The Kick Of Making People Laugh Was Doing Something Different. We Were A Rare Breed - Spotting One Of Us Was Like Pinning A Space Alien, Or Abdominal Snowman. There Were Maybe A Hundred Stand-ups In The Whole Country When I Was Doing It.

Sex And Obscenity Are Not Synonymous.

Never Tell. Not If You Love Your Wife...in Fact, If Your Old Lady Walks In On You Deny It. Yeah. Just Flat Out And She'll Believe It: "i'm Tellin' Ya. This Chick Came Downstairs With A Sign Around Her Neck 'lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I Didn't Know What I Was Goin' To Do.

I've Talked To Biblical Cats, And Neanderthals Who Been Here Since Day One. No One Here Has Even Seen The Big Boss. Ever.

Wouldn't It Be Nice If All The People Who Are Lonesome Could Live In One Big Dormitory, Sleep In Beds Next To Each Other, Talk, Laugh, And Keep The Lights On As Long As They Want To?