I Want So Badly To Believe That

There Were A Lot Of Fences And Walls Existing In My Life, Literally And Figuratively, And That Was Really Not Indicative Of The Kind Of Person That I'd Always Been. So, When I Moved Back To Seattle, The First Thing I Said Was, "i Will Never Live In Fear Again."

You Look Back At A Time You Idealize Now And You Only Remember The Good Stuff. You Tell The Stories About The Hard Stuff And Just Laugh About It Now. You Don't Remember How Difficult It Was To Be Stranded In Austin After Driving 52 Hours From Seattle In A Rainstorm And Having Nowhere To Stay For Five Hours. You Remember That Stuff And Laugh About It Now. You Don't Feel It The Way You Did Back Then When You Were So Scared And Nervous And Tired And Hungry. We Always Idealize The Past Because We Don't Feel The Painful Stuff The Way We Used To.

I Feel That We Are Currently Living In A World That Is Similar To Late '50s, Early '60s Kind Of World.

If You Tell Certain People That You Like Kerouac, They Assume That's All You Read, Like You Don't Know Anything Else About Literature. I Recognize All The Things That People Dislike About The Way He Writes - His Tone And The Sentimentality Of It All. But Those Books Were There For Me At A Very Important Point In My Life.

I Kind Of Dropped A Lot Of Bad Habits About Three Years Ago And Became Kind Of Accidentally Straight-edge. I Don't Have Xs On My Hands, But I Guess If I Wanted To Go Back To Calling Myself Straight-edge, I Could. Around That Same Time I Started Running. I Never Saw Myself As The Kind Of Person Who Would Become A Runner. It Seemed Unfathomable To Me That I Would Ever Run Three Miles, Let Alone 26.2.