I Used To Do Drugs. I Still

My Friend Asked Me If I Wanted A Frozen Banana. I Said 'no, But I Want A Regular Banana Later, So... Yeah.'

I Went To A Pizzeria. The Guy Gave Me The Smallest Slice Possible. If The Pizza Was A Pie Chart With What Would You Do If You Found A Million Dollars, He Gave Me The "donate It To Charity" Slice. "i'd Like To Exchange This For The 'keep It!'"

I Like To Wear A "do Not Disturb" Sign Around My Neck So That Little Kids Can't Tell Me Knock-knock Jokes. "hey, How Ya Doin'? Knock-knock." "read The Sign, Punk!"

I Have A Sharpie. I Love Sharpies. You Know What They Say On Them? Not For Letter Writing. That Sucks. Now I Have To Communicate With My Dad Using Numbers.

A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For A Human.