I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama

With The Internet, If You Erase Something It Just Means You Have To Spend Another Half-minute To Find It.

I'm Terrible When I Have To Fill Up Free Time. My Days, If I'm Not Working, I Wake Up And Figure Out A Way To Kill Time Until It's Time To Go To Sleep.

One Pleasant Surprise Was When I Interviewed Butch Patrick. I Was Expecting This Bitter Old Drunk, And Instead He Had A Total Sense Of Humor About His Career And His Drinking And Drug Problem.

A Landlord Is Showing A Couple Around An Apartment. The Husband Looks Up And Says, 'wait A Minute. This Apartment Doesn't Have A Ceiling.' The Landlord Answers, 'that's Ok. The People Upstairs Don't Walk Around That Much.'

You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.