I Think You Only Learn What Kind

The Earth Has A Mouth?” Buckley Asked. A Big Round Mouth But With No Lips,” My Father Said. Jack,” My Mother Said, Laughing, “stop It. Do You Know I Caught Him Outside Growling At The Snapdragons?

I Watched My Brother And My Father. The Truth Was Very Different From What We Learned In School. The Truth Was The Line Between The Living And The Dead Could Be, It Seemed, Murky And Blurred.

I Tried To Take Solace In Holiday, Our Dog. I Missed Him In A Way I Hadn't Yet Let Myself Miss My Mother And Father, My Sister And Brother. That Way Of Missing Would Mean That I Had Accepted That I Would Never Be With Them Again; It Might Sound Silly But I Didn't Believe It, Would Not Believe It.

It Was Buckley, As My Father And Sister Joined The Group And Listened To Grandma Lynn’s Countless Toasts, Who Saw Me. He Saw Me Standing Under The Rustic Colonial Clock And Stared. He Was Drinking Champagne. There Were Strings Coming Out From All Around Me, Reaching Out, Waving In The Air. Someone Passed Him A Brownie. He Held It In His Hand But Did Not Eat. He Saw My Shape And Face, Which Had Not Changed-the Hair Still Parted Down The Middle, The Chest Still Flat And Hips Undeveloped-and Wanted To Call Out My Name. It Was Only A Moment, And Then I Was Gone.

She Was Unaware That She Was Somewhat Of A Celebrity Up In Heaven. I Had Told People About Her, What She Did, How She Observed Moments Of Silence Up And Down The City And Wrote Small Individual Prayers In Her Journal, And The Story Had Travelled So Quickly That Women Lined Up To Know She Had Found Where They’d Been Killed. She Had Fans In Heaven..... Meanwhile, For Us, She Was Doing Important Work, Work That Most People On Earth Were Too Frightened Even Too Contemplate.