I Think The Funniest Stuff Comes From

When You Want To Make It Clear To The Rest Of The World That You Are Not An Imperialist, The Best Countries To Have With You Are Britain And Spain.

I Have A Theory That The Internet Makes People Stupider. And Also Fox News Makes People Stupider.

Ronald Reagan Was An Anti-government, Union-busting, Race Baiting, Anti-abortion, Anti-gay, Anti-intellectual, Who Cut Rich People's Taxes In Half, Had A Incurable Case Of The Military-industrial Complex, And Said Medicare Was Socialism That Would Destroy Our Freedom. Both Sides Really Should Stop Pretending He Was Something Other Than The Man Most Responsible For Our Decline.

People Who Don't Like You Almost Never Come Up To You. That's A Lot Of Years Of Saying Things That I Know A Lot Of People In This Country Hate Me For. And The Number Of Times Someone Has Come Up To Me And Said Something Negative, I Could Count On One Hand.

My Father Was A News Guy, You Know, He Was In Radio News. And So That Was Sort Of In My Dna. It Was Something We Talked About At The Dinner Table When I Was A Kid.