I Think The Funniest Stuff Comes From

Stop Saying Athletes Do It For The Love Of The Game. They Do It For The Love Of Their 32-room Mansion With The Live Shark Tank In The Living Room. If Pro Sports Paid Minimum Wage, Shaquille O'neal Would Be A Bouncer At Scores, And Anna Kournikova Would Be A Mail-order Bride From Minsk.

I'm Okay With It Now That Obama’s In Office. I'm Kind Of Trusting Of Him. But President Ted Cruz? Where This Is Going Would Bother Me.

Conservatives Claim [hillary] Clinton Campaign Involved In Satanic 'spirit Cooking'.

Just Because Your Tattoo Has Chinese Characters In It Doesn't Make You Spiritual. It's Right Above The Crack Of Your Ass, And It Translate To Beef With Broccoli. The Last Time You Did Anything Spiritual, You Were Praying To God You Weren't Pregnant. You're Not Spiritual. You're Just High.

I Don't Think All Life Is Precious. I Know People Say That All The Time, "life Is Precious." I Think Some Life Is Precious, And Some Life Is Just A Waste Of Protoplasm. Start Over.