I Think That Women Just Have A

You Should Be As Alive As You Can, Until You're Totally Dead!

The Measure Of A Conversation Is How Much Mutual Recognition There Is In It; How Much Shared There Is In It. If You're Talking About What's In Your Own Head, Or Without Thought To What People Looking And Listening Will Feel, You Might As Well Be In A Room Talking To Yourself.

I Really Can't Describe What My Stand-up Is Like - People See It And They Say It's Like That, Or It's Like This, And That's Really Up To Them, That's Fine, But I Don't Sit Around All Day Analysing It. I Just Try And Enjoy A Show And Interest Myself Because If I Don't Do That Then I Won't Interest Anybody Else.

You Learn Very Very Quickly That It Is Mostly About Swearing, Actually. That's All You're Doing, Swearing, In A Box With Wheels.

I Used To Live With Two Other Guys. We Used To Cook Two Things. The First One Was Called 'cheese... Thing' And That Was Where You Get Something And You Melt Cheese Over It And The First One To Guess What It Is Doesn't Have To Wash Up. That's Obviously Quite Mediterranean; The Other One Was Less Complex. It Was Just Called 'cheese Fantasy.' That's Where You Come In, Very Drunk, At About Five In The Morning And Find An Apple And Just Pretend There's Some Cheese On It.