I Think People Hate Me Pretty Much

Kids Love To Be Silly, They Love To Laugh, So I Think It Was Natural For My Kids To Like The Sort Of Books That I Write - And It's The Only Kinds Of Books I'm Capable Of Writing.

The Global Business Climate Is Likewhatever, Dude.

I'm Very Introverted, So It Requires A Huge Effort For Me To Put On A Smile And Extend A Hand And Accept Compliments. I Would Much Rather Be Insulted Than Complimented Any Day.

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

There Is Something About The Human Condition. I Don't Think Dogs Are Like "if Only I Was A Poodle Instead Of A Golden Retriever, I'd Be Totally Happy." Dogs Are Happy With Who They Are.