I Think People, For The Most Part,

There Are Really Funny Alternative Comics And Really Funny Straight Comics Who Write And Perform Traditionally.

Nobody Is Going To Be As Bad For Free Thinking, Right-minded Individuals Than George Bush.

I Do Believe That On A Whole, Women Are Definitely Smarter Than Men... I Also Believe That Dogs Are Smarter Than Women. No? That One, You Don't Believe It? You Believe That I Didn't Do A Series Of Tests? You Are Right To Not Believe It, Because I'm Going To Go Ahead And Admit That I Do Not Believe What I Just Said, It Was What's Described As A 'joke.' Um, I'll Be Telling A Bunch Of Them Here Tonight.

I'm Finally Going To Be Able To Finally Criticize [hillary Clinton] Without Being Accused Of Being A Sexist - That Idea. I'm Not A Fan, I Don't Like Her, But You Can't Say Anything Without Being Accused Of Being A Sexist Pig, Which Is Unfair.

I'm Very Vocal About My Belief That All Religion Is Garbage. Most Of My Friends Are Religious Or At Least Spiritual. These Are People I Like And I Know Are Intelligent. It's This Thing That I Carry Around. I Know I'd Be A Better Person If I Was Fairer, But It's At The Core Of Who I Am And What I Believe.