Discourse Is Fleeting, But Junk Mail Is

I Am A Male Chauvinist. Who's Been Saying Otherwise?

Sure-fire Singles Ad: Famous Writer Needs Woman To Organize His Life And Spend His Money. Loves To Turn Off Sunday Football And Go To The Botanical Gardens With That Special Someone. Will Obtain Plastic Surgery If Necessary.

I Always Remind People Why The Oscars Got Started In 1928: It Was An Effort By The Studios To Suppress The Unions. They Started The Academy Because All The Screenwriters And Directors And Actors Were Unionizing, And They Thought, "we'll Have Something That Resembles A Union, But That's Completely Controlled By The Moneyed Interests In Hollywood." That's What It's Been All These Years. It's Something That Reinforces Hollywood's Image Of Itself. The Best Picture One Year Was Gandhi. Nobody Watched Gandhi, But That's The Kind Of Picture That Always Wins.

They'll Give You An Oscar If They Think You're About To Drop Dead. The Problem With The Oscars Is, The Average Age Of The Academy Is 84. They Wheel Those People In From Palm Springs And Hook Up Their Ivs And They Vote. The People That Go To Movies Are Under The Age Of 28, For The Most Part, So There's This Total Disconnect Between What The Academy Thinks Is A Great Movie And What The Audience Actually Wants To See.

I Hate The Oscars. The Oscars Make Me Want To Throw Things At The Tv. In The Ancient History Of The Oscars, People Would Go On And Make Political Statements And Get Thrown Off The Stage, But The Last Great Political Statement, I Think, Was When Michael Moore Started Raging Against Bush A Few Years Back. Everybody Booed Him, Even Though I Can't Imagine Hollywood Booing A Guy Who's Bashing Bush. That Was The Last Great Spontaneous Moment On The Oscars.