I Think Anybody Who Is Racist Is

On His Homesickness During The Barcelona Olympics -i Miss America. I Miss Crime And Murder. I Miss Philadelphia. There Hasn't Been A Brutal Stabbing Or Anything Here The Last 24 Hours. I've Missed It.

Thank God For Jerry Springer's Show. I Thought Only Black Folks Were That Screwed Up Until I Watched Jerry Springer.

Those Grizzlies Are More Like Pandas.

When You Read The Book You See That These Guys Aren't Holding Any Punches. They're Straightforward. They're Honest. They're Giving You Their Honest Opinion.

When I Speak To Kids I Tell Them, 'hey, You Think Your Parents Are A Pain In The Ass Now, But They're Going To Get Smarter As You Get Older.'