I Think A Lot Of People Have

Off-camera, I Sound Like Perry Como.

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

I'd Like To Have A Kid, But I'd Probably Get A Frank Sinatra Jr. Instead Of A Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd Totally Screw Up Like That.

Some Comedians Tell Nice Jokes That You Can Tell To Your Kids. Some Use Bad Words - They Work 'blue.' If You Don't Want To Hear A Joke That's Blue, You Shouldn't Go To A Comedy Club Where A Comedian Who Makes Blue Jokes Is Performing.

There Are Times When I've Had Ideas Walking Down The Street That I Thought Were Great, And The Minute I Got Onstage, I Would Think Of Them And Go, 'wow, That Would Never Work,' Even Before I Did It In Front Of The Audience.