I Suffer The Terrible Disease Of Low

I Use An App Called Choremonster. The Kids Earn Points For Brushing Teeth Or Picking Up The Dog Poop. It's Genius.

Children Are Like Crazy, Drunken Small People In Your House.

Success Is Getting Up One More Time Than You Fall Down.

How Many Times Can You Say, "no Yanking On One Another's Genitals?" Everything Is Hilarious Until Someone Starts Crying.

I Discovered On School Days, When They've Got To Get Up At 6:30, They Won't Get Out Of Bed. But On The Weekends, They Were Up At 6 A.m. I Was Like, "why Do You Guys Wake Up So Early On The Weekends?" It's Like, "because I Wake Up And I Think, Is It A Tv Day? And If It Is..." So We Had To Change That Rule. I'm Like, "thank You For Telling Me What I Need To Do."