I Started A Grease Fire At Mcdonald's

I Actually Learned About Sex Watching Neighborhood Dogs. And It Was Good. Go Ahead And Laugh. I Think The Most Important Thing I Learned Was: Never Let Go Of The Girl's Leg, No Matter How Hard She Tries To Shake You Off.

I Was Very Interested In Vaudeville. It Was The Only Sort Of Discipline That Was A Five-minute Act On Stage, Which Is What I Really Enjoyed And Saw Myself Doing. And I Bought Books On It.

Be Undeniably Good. When People Ask Me How Do You Make It In Show Business Or Whatever, What I Always Tell Them & Nobody Ever Takes Note Of It 'cause It's Not The Answer They Wanted To Hear-what They Want To Hear Is Here's How You Get An Agent, Here's How You Write A Script, Here's How You Do This-but I Always Say, “be So Good They Can't Ignore You.” If Somebody's Thinking, “how Can I Be Really Good?” People Are Going To Come To You. It's Much Easier Doing It That Way Than Going To Cocktail Parties.

I Try Not To Think About Legacy Because It Is All ­folly. If You Study History, Even Recent History, You'll Find Many People Who Were Quite Significant In Their Time But Are Completely Forgotten.

I Always Felt The Audience Sorta Tolerated The Serious Musical Parts While I Was Doing My Comedy.