I Started A Big Part Of My

I Could Be An Alternative Comic. I Could Be That Really Dark - I Was - I Was A Very Dark Comic To Begin With. I Could Be That Guy, And The Only Reason I Didn't Is That I Wanted To Make Money. I Wanted To Be Popular. I Wanted To Be Liked More Than I Wanted To Be Admired.

I Just Had A Throwaway Part, Really, If You Think About It. I'm Not A Natural Actor, You Know? I'm A Comedian, Through And Through. And I Really Love My Lines. Those Are The Lines I Want To Do.

I Felt Ashamed For What I Had Done. I Don't Have Any Excuses. I Did What I Did. I Take Full Responsibility For Myself And My Actions. I Wouldn't Pawn This Off On Anybody. I'm Sorry It Happened. And I Hurt People.

I'll Tell You How You Know When You're On Something Good: When Everybody Starts To Tear Up When They're Leaving, When They're Wrapping For The Season. You Know, When You Say, "all Right, We're Done With Mcgillicuddy. That's A Wrap For Mcgillicuddy!" And Everybody Applauds, But Everybody's Sad, Because Mcgillicuddy's Going To Be Gone! You Know, It's Like Family Going Off To College Or War. You Have This Intimate Relationship With These People, And Then - Bam! - They're Gone.

Minnesotans Really Think They Run The Whole World, I Love That.