I Spoke To Ears That Refused To

My Fellow Americans, I Am Pleased To Tell You I Just Signed Legislation Which Outlaws Russia Forever. The Bombing Begins In Five Minutes.

Facts Are Stupid Things — Stubborn Things, I Should Say.

Generations Hence, Parents Will Take Their Children To These Woods To Show Them How The Land Must Have Looked To The First Pilgrims And Pioneers. And As Americans Wander Through These Forests, Climb These Mountains, They Will Sense The Love And Majesty Of The Creator Of All Of That.

Government Is Like A Baby. An Alimentary Canal With A Big Appetite At One End And No Sense Of Responsibility At The Other.

It Has Been Said That Politics Is The Second Oldest Profession. I Have Learned That It Bears A Striking Resemblance To The First.