I Spend So Much Time On The

You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.

I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One Of Those Floor-cleaning Robots. Call Him Dj Roomba - Little Guy Cruises Around And Plays Music. What's Hot, Dj Roomba!

Aren't You Scared Your Kid's Getting Kidnapped...right Now?

The Most Influential Thing Was The Two Chris Rock Specials That Came Out When I Was In High School. I Was Obsessed With That Stuff.

We've Always Been Divided By Some Of These Big Political Issues. It's Fine. As Long As We Treat Each Other With Respect And Remember That Ultimately, We're All Americans, We'll Be Fine.